If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
