OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
