Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
