hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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