just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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