How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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