Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
