Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
