You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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