he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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