It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
