Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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