I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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