i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
