I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
