we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
