you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
