she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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