That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
