He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
