Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
