i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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