Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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