I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I need a burrito and a hug.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
