You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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