He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
