We named our party play list daddy issues
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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