During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
