Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Come share oat with me in your robe
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You are a genius and a whore.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize