We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
