Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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