wakey wakey hands off snakey
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Enjoy the penises
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
