i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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