How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
