She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
did i walk over a car last night?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize