I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
It's just like the Real World with babies
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm passing your future prison.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm sobbing to NWA
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
