dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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