actually, I'm a sock model
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
That accounts for only three of the penises
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
