I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
