just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
