the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize