I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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