I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
