Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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