Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He better not be in your backpack
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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