Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
two words...techno handjob
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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