im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
