a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
