Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
