there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Randomize
