Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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