she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
