Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
