I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize