Whoa Z and x make the same sound
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
