My underwear smells like fireworks.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
This is the high leading the old right now
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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