It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
