I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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