Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Randomize
