There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
